mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
