And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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