i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
