We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
