Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
