After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
