OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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