never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
