I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
