So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize