I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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