After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
40s are totally the cure
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
