chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
