I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
