Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
