Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize