Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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