he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
