so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
