plz talk dirty to me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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