Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize