For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
