Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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