She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
