Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
NoShamevember. You game?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize