So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
