I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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