dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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