The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
