Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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