You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize