I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize