you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
