Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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