So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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