Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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