can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
