Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
