I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
