At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
