That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
