Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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