You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
