it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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