it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
