btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
