party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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