SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
