I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
