Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
