I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
