Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
