even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
