I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize