DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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