oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
