she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
