Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize