am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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