Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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