I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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