i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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