paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
